Follow the salty, crispy,and delicious shenanigans of
his snarky intern TweetBoy,
and his campaign manager, Smokey
@Bacon4Pres on twitter
Have you missed the last few thousand tweets?
Don’t worry, Bacon’s got you covered:
Read all of Cris P. Bacon’s tweets at :
bacon4president.com/tweets
 BaconThatIsAll.com |
For those of you following me on twitter @Bacon4Pres, you may be aware that I’m promoting a new hashtag: #KickPaulRyanInTheNuts
for even suggesting that he was going to hold the debt ceiling hostage,
not to mention all the other ludicrous austerity and obstruction bullsizzle that he and his cohorts have been subjecting Americans to for the past several years…
but in case I was not clear,
my social media intern TweetBoy made this info-graphic for you:
It’s just a hash tag. But just in case it catches on, Paul Ryan might want to invest in a protective cup to protect the ‘family jewels’.
(this was in NO WAY a threat, just a suggestion)
Feel free to post video links of people being kicked in the nuts in the comment section.
via – Idiocracy – Ow My Balls
You can vote ONCE a day. Come back and vote again tomorrow!
As Tweeted by C.P. Bacon – Bacon4President.com
1) Bacon RULES! 1a) No Anti-Meat Slogans
2) All Americans are Americans, Even Bacon-Americans
3) You do NOT tweet about Fight Club!!!
3a) Forget you read rule 3)
4) Hot side hot, cool side cool. #Bacon goes on BOTH SIDES
5) Stop wasting my time & our precious booze money on Un-Jesusy laws of oppression. U R not god. U don’t get to judge.
6) Bacon is not god. I am however distantly related. Not enough characters in this tweet to explain & u probably won’t understand.
7) I do, however, get to judge humanity. #DealWithIt #Bacon is immortal, but not in a highlander way. There can b more than one.
8) You do not get to claim that you saved the Auto Industry unless you actually did. #BeingPartOfBreakfastDoesCount
8a) I invented the internal combustion engine, by the way. #noididnot Also led Seal Team Six into Pakistan. #inmymind
9) Whenever you have the opportunity to vote, do not squander that vote on a vegetablican candidate. #Vote #Bacon
10) NEVER WASTE #BACON ON THE DEAD. Pour out a 40 on the sidewalk if u must, but never ever feed me 2 zombies.
11) Do NOT Disturb me while I am ROCKING OUT!
12) Rashers and Rashes are NOT the same thing.
13) @kevinbacon’s belly is NOT MADE OF PORK. Do NOT fry & eat him.
14) U cannot tear down Wrigley until they win at least ONE world series there. don’t care if u hate when the wind blows in.
15) U DESERVE MAD BACON, YO!
16) Love the #bacon. Respect the bacon. Do not fear the bacon. #OrTheReaper #BOC
17) Anytime someone refers 2 imaginary policies our president didn’t actually do, U MUST attribute them to #Chairbama.
18) No, @twitter. #socialmedia is NOT ALLOWED to trend ON social media. Take that down immediately!
19) You are entitled 2 your incorrect opinion. 
20) French fries should NEVER be battered, primarily seasoned w salt, & be cut into stick, slice, or wedge form. #WaffleFriesSuck
21) Note to twitter: ‘Last weekend’ does not qualify as ‘Back in the day’. #TenYearMinimum
Rule 22) Never, EVER bother Gibbs in interrogation.
23) The Favorite button is a LIKE button that NOBODY SEES. Completely useless. Retweet or do not. There is no Try. #StopUsingFavoriteOnTwitter
24) Stock up on Bacon when it’s on sale and keep it in the freezer.
25) Always have bacon in the fridge for Sunday morning.
26) If you use LMBO instead of LMAO, you have officially disqualified yourself from all serious discussions.
