The #BACON Rules #BaconRULES – Tweeted by C.P. Bacon

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The Bacon Rules #BaconRules

As Tweeted by C.P. Bacon – Bacon4President.com

1) Bacon RULES! 1a) No Anti-Meat Slogans

2) All Americans are Americans, Even Bacon-Americans

3) You do NOT tweet about Fight Club!!!

3a) Forget you read rule 3)

4) Hot side hot, cool side cool. #Bacon goes on BOTH SIDES

5) Stop wasting my time & our precious booze money on Un-Jesusy laws of oppression. U R not god. U don’t get to judge.

6) Bacon is not god. I am however distantly related. Not enough characters in this tweet to explain & u probably won’t understand.

7) I do, however, get to judge humanity. #DealWithIt #Bacon is immortal, but not in a highlander way. There can b more than one.

8) You do not get to claim that you saved the Auto Industry unless you actually did. #BeingPartOfBreakfastDoesCount

8a) I invented the internal combustion engine, by the way. #noididnot Also led Seal Team Six into Pakistan. #inmymind

9) Whenever you have the opportunity to vote, do not squander that vote on a vegetablican candidate. #Vote #Bacon

10) NEVER WASTE #BACON ON THE DEAD. Pour out a 40 on the sidewalk if u must, but never ever feed me 2 zombies.

11) Do NOT Disturb me while I am ROCKING OUT!

12) Rashers and Rashes are NOT the same thing.

13) @kevinbacon’s belly is NOT MADE OF PORK. Do NOT fry & eat him.

14) U cannot tear down Wrigley until they win at least ONE world series there. don’t care if u hate when the wind blows in.

15) U DESERVE MAD BACON, YO!

16) Love the #bacon. Respect the bacon. Do not fear the bacon. #OrTheReaper #BOC

17) Anytime someone refers 2 imaginary policies our president didn’t actually do, U MUST attribute them to #Chairbama.

18) No, @twitter. #socialmedia is NOT ALLOWED to trend ON social media. Take that down immediately!

19) You are entitled 2 your incorrect opinion. 🙂

20) French fries should NEVER be battered, primarily seasoned w salt, & be cut into stick, slice, or wedge form. #WaffleFriesSuck

21) Note to twitter: ‘Last weekend’ does not qualify as ‘Back in the day’. #TenYearMinimum

Rule 22) Never, EVER bother Gibbs in interrogation.

23) The Favorite button is a LIKE button that NOBODY SEES. Completely useless. Retweet or do not. There is no Try. #StopUsingFavoriteOnTwitter

24) Stock up on Bacon when it’s on sale and keep it in the freezer.

25) Always have bacon in the fridge for Sunday morning.

26) If you use LMBO instead of LMAO, you have officially disqualified yourself from all serious discussions.

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About

I am C.P. Bacon - YOUR nominee for President of the United States! Together we'll return to Breakfast's finest days! LARD BLESS AMERICA! Follow me on Twitter @Bacon4Pres BIOGRAPHY: Born in a cold-smoker, this salty individual quickly grew up to become a sizzling crispy strip of political goodness. He's running for President and needs your support!


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